When we hear about Holiday Guilt Gifting or Guilt related to givinggifts during holiday season, it seems like an unavoidable situation. The year 2020 started with COVID-19 impact on mankind, and it gripped the entire world into its life-threatening spree. In order to stop the spread of this virus, there was a long phase of lockdown, many employment sites moved their offices to online platforms to support work-from home situation for employees, and to continue to run their business. People struggled to support their children at home while managing their work demands; and on the other hand, kids ended up losing touch with the needs of their growth in a community setting which they get from in person schools. Last but not the least the much debated about “Screen Time” increased for the kids due to all their school related activities, as well as socializing with friends, were limited to online mediums. But was there any other option left for parents? Sadly “No”. The challenging times did not end here the businesses and employees working in the
hospitality industry, and small business setups were hit hard. With increase in layoffs, unpaid rent, home evictions, bankruptcy, increasing unemployment rates, and on top of its health emergencies, crippled the community. There were reports in the news about the mortality rate hitting 3,000,000 in USA alone, and numerous across the globe. With these hard-hit times there is another threat that is looming on everyone’s head and that is of “Holiday Guilt-Gifting” which means that one tries to give gifts in order to spread joy, and happiness during the testing times. Eventually “Gift Giving Guilt”, and “Spending Guilt”, catches up, which means having worry about managing finances after overspending on gifts in order to manage gift giving guilt. Yes, the Gift Giving Guilt emerges where one tries to compensate for their absence or worries for their loved ones by buying them gifts. But the financial strain that one endures due to the holiday spending, gifts, and employment issues due to pandemic, it causes increase in stress and spending guilt. My effort in this article is not to gloom and doom your effort to make your loved one’s feel good by a gifting gesture; but I am trying to bring out the guilt we experience after overspending and realizing the financial debt; especially during this pandemic situation when there is increased need to have financial security. This article is trying to understand this issue which many of us experience or are experiencing these days.
The situation of Holiday Gift-Giving Guilt is often very difficult to manage as we human beings are social in nature, and since a long time the culture of giving gifts has been seen as an essential part of building long term positive relationships with loved ones, by compensating for any sort of shortcoming at our part in meeting their expectations. The fear of losing relationships over not giving 
gifts or even a “Perfect Gift”, makes people fall prey to the marketing tactics used by the stores to cash upon the Guilt Gifting during holiday season. But does the compensation of giving gifts to our family, friends, and other essential people in our life help in establishing long term positive relationships? The answer to this question is “there is no guarantee”, but the gurrantee we have is that by the end of the holiday season we do endure financial pressure and accompanied Holiday Gift-Giving Guilt. I understand that it is a dichotomous situation as during holiday we do want to make a giving gesture for the people in our lives by making them feel that they matter to us. A wise strategy to manage this situation can help you in experiencing Post-Holiday Gift-Giving Guilt from financial strain.
Here are some time-tested ways to manage your Holiday Gift-Giving Guilt:
Make a Holiday Gift-Giving Project; A Project sounds like a lot of work, but having a Holiday Gift-Giving project can helps you in keeping track of your finances and helps in not missing out on connecting with the important people in your life.
- Start early: If the holiday season starts with Halloween which every year falls at the end of October. Start planning for your Holiday budget early on to make sure you do not end up overspending.
- Make Lists: Make a checklist of items you need for the holiday e.g., the decorations you need, related to the festival, and devote a manageable budget for the respective holiday needs. For example; for Halloween you may start with list of outdoor decorations, indoor decorations if needed, required amount of candies, and costumes.
- Make a Decoration/Festival Carton Box: Instead of buying decorations or other festival related decorations, every year, make a decoration box separate for each festival and store the decorations safely in it to recuse whenever the festival arrives.
- Be Creative: Remember to be creative about using craft materials to make cards, decorations to save money during the festivals e.g., using makeup to create desired Halloween look, wings can be versatile accessory for kids. Some stores offer costumes on rent, or with return receipt. Handmade gifts are one of a kind
nd often appeals more to the loved ones who appreciate the effort you put in creating something unique. - Be Thrifty: Often after the Festival many stores offer clearance on the costumes, decorations, gifts, which one can buy for the following year. Make another list of items you need for Thanksgiving and Christmas/Hanukah which come in the following months in November and December.
- Make a List: of people you want to buy gifts for. Brainstorm about what they may like and be mindful about how much budget you have. Do research online for the gift items you want to buy to have an estimate of total amount of money you may need to spend.Write down the items you may buy for each person you have listed and mark a check Infront of the person once you have arranged the gifts.
- Be Realistic: about your financial situation, and have a heart to heart conversation with respective person for whom you feel the compelling guilt for giving gift, and share your financial situation if you might not be able to meet their expectations related to gift
- Find Meaningful Alternatives:
- Cook together at home
- Bring something handmade, a handmade care, dish, craft
- Spend Quality time with the people who matter to you, and have hearty enriching conversation
- Plan a picnic
- Be genuinely present for your loved one, as all they want from you is your time, attention, and compassion.
In the end I would encourage you to remember that for long-term healthy relationships spending quality time, heart to heart conversations, and genuine presence in their lives matter more than any gift or materialistic item.
Shipra Singh, MS, CRC, LPCA
Department of Counseling and Human Development
University of Louisville
Louisville, Kentucky.
